Here is a question I see brides in wedding forums ask all the time.
What is your wedding budget?
And this is why I want you to change the script for you.
It’s a loaded question. Full of uncomfortable, unrealistic expectations.
There are so many emotions tied to it, so many uncertainties, so many expectations.
As a wedding planner and someone who hosts weddings at our vineyard @werner_vineyards it’s one of the first questions I get asked and it’s one of the hardest to answer...like how long is a piece of sting?
And no, not because when I hear the word wedding I think cha chin, quite the opposite it’s because when I hear the word wedding I think, ‘ok...how many people, what style, what layout, how many in the bridal party, who is paying for it, what season of life are they in, what is super important to them, do they want a DIY (what does DIY mean to them), do they want me to do majority of the work….and the list of questions go on.
You see, planning and executing a wedding is a big job, one with loads of moving parts which all need attention and time.
Because although it’s a fair question, it’s one that has a lot of emotions and individuality behind it. We are all different, our ideas and visions of our perfect day are very, very different so why compare apples with smoking hot, golden dipped nuggets (that’s just silly right?).
So, instead of kickass money saving #brideboss ideas on how to save money; where to save money or look for different and unique cost saving options. It’s become a wedding budget share and shame.
Shame if you spent a lot, shame if you were tight with your budget.
Wondering what the heck am I talking about? Instead of constructive advice & guidance you’re getting a blanket statement to a loaded question for example:
💍My wedding was $5k with everything, made everything myself making people pay for drinks, bought a second hand dress.
💍Mine is $45K and it's still going
💍My venue alone was $10K so I think its going to be up to $30K before we even get a band
💍Backyard wedding $500 styling, $200 dress, no flowers, printed invites at home
All perfectly great examples of a wedding budget and none of them are right and none of them are wrong.
The ikky part? Without knowing brides are sharing budgets that have no comparison because everyone is different, every expectation is different. So when you see a reply to the 45k wedding, ‘wow, that is way too much I did my wedding on 5k with 150, and it was perfect’
My heart sinks for that bride. There is no right way to do this and if you have 45k to spend on a wedding that's great, if you don't that ok as well!
The expectations and vision for those two brides are completely different. Their worlds are different, their lives are different and therefore this question does not help anyone; it only adds pressure on an already loaded and emotional question.
So here is my idea, let’s change this dialog to help you (vendors and suppliers included).
5 ideas to help understand your wedding budget better:
Understand your location (geographical and the feeling of your wedding beach/rustic) what do you want:
What style of wedding do you want?
Are you a DIY bride or do you want more help
What are your three non negotiables?
This is my foundation for all couples, if you can understand what you don't want to compromise on it will help you know where and how you want to spend you budget
You can download it free when you sign up to me email list
Who is paying for the wedding and what is the maximum that you/they want to spend?'
Yeah sorry you're going to have to have that conversation with you families and each other!
It’s a broad list but spend time on getting to know it. The other things will start to fall into place but this is where you need to start thinking.
I have a full list and budget which you can purchase if you need help getting clearer, click here to let me know you would like to know a little more about it.
And #brideboss's let's celebrate each other support and share the things that will help each other get the best from the day.